A New Season – New Beginnings

Welcome to a new season and new beginnings!

Hello again!  Hello Fall!  After taking a long needed hiatus, I am back and excited about writing again.  I am excited about the new beginnings coming my way and the new season that’s started.  Fall is my favorite time of year.  For me, it is the season of calm, peace, shedding of old, new beginnings, and magical transformations. For me, Fall is that breath of fresh air I’ve been waiting all year to take.  

new beginning in life, keys to open new doors

As I come back to writing, with excitement and a peaceful spirit, I hope to connect with more readers, writers, and artists of all kinds. I hope to engage in interesting conversations, learn from you all, and expand my imagination and  look forward to reading new stories, experiences, and messages.  I also look forward to sharing more of myself, with you all and hope my old readers are still around and welcome all new ones. Enjoy this beautiful time, feel free to say hello, tell me about yourself, and what new beginnings you are looking forward to in this new season.

Peace, blessings, and many thanks,

Kim

 

5 Things I’ve learned from My 3 Year Old

I have been a stay-at-home mom for almost six months and I must say it has been interesting.  My daughter is three going on sixty.  I like to tell people she’s an old lady stuck in a toddler’s body.  Sometimes, I think she is my grandmother reincarnated. Being home with her 24 hrs a day, I have learned a great deal about how the her mind works. She is very cunning, sneaky, and calculating.  She is also sarcastic and very blunt. So, her is a list of things I’ve learned from her since we’ve been tied to the hip.

1)  What I ate and liked yesterday (or even the week before) is not what I like today. – Yeah, this chick’s appetite changes like the wind.  Sometimes from one day to another or even from one hour to another.  She went from eating spaghetti and peanut butter crackers regularly to hating them overnight.  I’m like really, you were just begging for peanut butter crackers last night and now it’s yuck. This really makes grocery shopping hell.

2)  Don’t let strangers ask her questions because 3yr olds are very blunt.  –  My daughter is very quiet and to herself and doesn’t really do people.  But, every time we go the store an unknowing target approaches and start asking questions and, as I said, my daughter is very blunt and sometimes the answers can come off as mean or hurtful. This can lead to awkward  moments and glares at me. So, I try to limit the questions people ask for their sake and mine.

3)  There is no such thing as privacy or alone time. – Who knew once you had kids you would no longer be able to use the bathroom alone or even go downstairs without being followed.  I didn’t  know I would have two shadows.  IT SUCKS.  Especially when you just want to pee or poop alone.  Like really kid, this is not the time for conversations. I’m trying to concentrate here.

4)  I will watch the same movie or cartoon over and over and over again, because it’s funny (umm no it’s not kid). – I’m all for a good movie or cartoon. Heck I miss Saturday morning cartoons, but these cartoons out now are just blah.  Like really the Bubble Guppies live underwater but light fires and carry umbrellas when it rains. WHY – YOU’RE UNDER WATER?  And if I watch the Minion movie one more time…. (deep breaths, deep breaths)

5)  Don’t ever tell a child you will do or buy something and don’t because they will never forget and will never let you forget. – Kid, sometimes I just agree to the things you say so you will stop asking. I don’t really expect you to remember that two weeks ago mommy said she would buy you a Doc McStuffins’ ambulance and ask did I buy it every time I come in the house.  I also wasn’t prepared for you to ask me  are we going to the beach a thousand times a day.  But as I look back, I know I set myself up for this.

Honestly, being a stay-at-home mom is great.  I get to spend so much time with my little one and travel with her.  We wake up together and go to bed together which makes it easy to keep her on a schedule.  But, there are times when it really tests my patience and I have to remember she is three and this stage will pass.  She’s growing so fast and each day it seems like there is something new.  I know I will look back on this time and wish these moments would have lasted forever (except the not using the bathroom alone).

The Only Forever We have is Now

The only forever we have is now, so, let go of the things that do not better your now. The beautiful and not so beautiful thing about life is the ability to let go.  Letting go of old beliefs, patterns, thoughts, people, and, sometimes, dreams.   Some people can let go with ease.  They do not form an attachment to things or people that binds them.  They see the beauty in being in the moment and letting go when the moment is over.  They understand things and people are not meant to stay forever and there comes a time when it’s time to part ways.  Other people, not so much.  Some people cling to things, people, or memories in hope that things will never change.  They hate the idea of change, having to learn new ways, or starting over.

 I am here to say, I am/was one of those people.  I hate starting over, probably because I’ve been forced to start over so many times in the last 10 years.  I wasn’t always like this.  I use to embrace the idea of change with open arms.  I looked forward to new and exciting things.  I didn’t hold on to people but instead let them flow in and out my life easily.   I always looked forward to new possibilities.  As time went by, life happened and I fell into a depression and it was then that I began to hate change.  I hit a point in my life where I would finally get stability then it would be taken away, leaving me with nothing. It was a constant cycle, every two years.  During this time, I held on to people, beliefs, and patterns that were not serving my highest good.  They were not helping me develop as a person or contributing to my mental and emotional well-being.  I held on to these things because I wanted to feel I had some control on my life, even in the mist of all the chaos going on around.  I want to feel I had some stability even though life is completely unstable.  

In reality, there is no guarantee of stability in life.  Life does not promise smooth sailing with no storms or waves.  Life does not give us forever, only now, because now is the only forever we have.  This was a hard lesson for me to learn and it’s an even harder lesson for me to constantly and actively live.  Each day, I am learning to let go of thing that are not meant to be in my future, or my now. Whether it’s people, things, thoughts, or patterns.  I’m learning to part with the things I don’t won’t but hold on to for security.  I’m learning to detach from having the person and live in the feeling and moment.  I’m allowing people, things, and beliefs to flow easily through my life and only keeping what I need at the moment.  I learning to embrace change and the unknown while releasing fear and judgement.  The most important thing, I’m learning, is to allow life to give me what I need and take from me what I don’t and not try to control it.  I’m embracing the forever of now.

 

You Hold the Power to Change Your World

You hold the power to change your world – embrace it.  Whether you realize it or not – everything you do, every thought you think, and every decision you make creates your world.

 

 I know sometimes people think they are stuck in a situation and there’s no way out.  In reality, there is a way out.  To get out the situation we don’t want, we have to change the way we see our world. We also have to change the way we think and see ourselves.  We can’t see ourselves as powerless and fragile.  We can’t see ourselves and weak and unimaginative because these are they thoughts that keep us trapped in an unhappy world.  Once you change your way of thinking you start to see that you have power to change your world.  If you really want to change your world and live a life that is fulfilling to you, you have to believe that you deserve that life.  You have to believe that you are worthy of all the things you wish and dream about.  You have to change your way of thinking. 

Change starts with small things. Change one bad or negative thought for a more positive one.  Yes, it may take time, and it may be hard at first, but it will work.  Below are ways create the life you want and deserve.

  1. Talk bout the things your do want – Talk about all the things you want in life and let the don’ts fall to the side.  Focusing on the things you do want makes you appreciate the things that are going right more.  Talking about all your dreams and aspirations opens the door for more of the good stuff to come in.  Soon you will realize that you have a lot more good things coming in than bad thoughts going out.
  2. You want to have a more positive day – Wake up in the morning and focus on the positive.  Focus on the sunlight coming through your window, the birds singing, or that great shower you’re about to take. Be excited about the day ahead and all the fun things you can do, even if it’s laying on the couch watching TV.  If it’s something you like and enjoy, do it.  Make your day a day you can enjoy.
  3. Hate being stuck in traffic – Instead of complaining about being stuck in traffic, take that time to listen to your favorite song, listen to podcast you always wanted to get around to, take time to call that family member you’ve been thinking about, or take joy in missing that meeting you didn’t want to attend anyway.
  4. Need more fun in your life  – Think like a child.  Stop believing just because you’re an adult you can’t have fun.  Go to the playground and swing on the swings, go on a new adventure in your own town and discover new things, watch your favorite cartoons, or lay in the grass and watch the clouds. Remember what it was like to enjoy the small things.
  5. Tire of your monochrome life  – Replace the blah with color.  Change up the wall colors or, if you can’t paint, buy some fun colorful artwork for your wall.  Heck create your own art and let the creativity flow.  Buy new bedding or a colorful new shirt. Be daring, be colorful, be bright. 
  6. Say no to others and yes to you – Decide how you want to spend your time and don’t apologize for it. Learn the beauty in saying no. Don’t spend your time with people you don’t want to be around. Don’t go to places that don’t interest you.  Don’t feel you owe other’s your time. You owe you your time. Spend the time doing things and with people who make you happy and don’t let other’s make you feel like you owe them your time. 

These are just some ways of changing your now world to create the world you want.  You will surprised how making small changes can create a major shift in your life.  As you start a making these small changes, you invite more things of what you do want into your life.  You open the door to endless possibilities.  You open the door to a whole new world and a whole new you.  Remember, you have believe you are worthy and deserve the life you want. Once you do that, start thinking more positive, and making small changes that make you happy.  Then, one day, you will wake up and realized you’ve created the life you want.

Peace and blessings Friends!!

Eat..Play..Sleep

This year has been a transition year for me and Della.  I lost my job and took her out of daycare. Because of my crazy commute to work, being in traffic almost three hours some days, my sister would pick her up from daycare because of how late I got home.  By the time I did get home, we would only have an hour of mommy and me time before she had to go to bed. So, we’ve basically been adjusting to being together 24/7 and getting to know each other again.  I cut back on blogging and decided to spend the time just hanging with Della. It’s been stressful for us both as we are both very stubborn people but very much worth it.

I think the hardest part has been adjusting to her eating habits.  When she was in daycare, they had a schedule and she pretty much knew what she was going to eat everyday for breakfast, lunch, and snack.  None of this was stuff we had at home.  Her daycare served a lot of prepackaged food and we cook with mostly fresh food.  Trying to get her to eat fresh food for each meal was a huge challenge. I think I heard “I don’t like that” or ” we don’t eat that at school” a billion times.  I wasted so much food trying to push her to eat and because my three-year old’s attitude is a carbon copy of mine and her dad’s, it causes a lot of tense moments. Like I said, we are both stubborn people. Eventually, I gave in to some of the prepackaged foods she liked, and slowly she began to eat fresh foods again. Now, she helps me cook meals and rarely eats prepackaged ones.

One thing my little has taught me is to play more.  I was so stressed out from work and the being stuck in traffic, I barely wanted or had the energy to play when I got home.  Since Della was so used to get up early for daycare, she continued to get up early.  I was not happy about this because I finally wanted to enjoy sleeping in for once.  Heck, I thought she would sleep in since she didn’t have to go to daycare.  Nope, in true kid form, she was up when the first ray of sunlight hit the window ready to play.  I’m not one to talk first thing in the morning and her cheerfulness, millions of questions, and requests to play were not very welcoming.  Little by little as we went outside, in the very early morning, I learned to enjoy our early morning play dates.  I’ve taught her to play games, such as hopscotch, kick ball, and how to fly a kite.  We’ve enjoy making stories using sidewalk chalk paint and playing school on the chalkboard in the garage. Yes, she is the teacher most of the time. We’re mostly just having fun and letting the day take us where it wants.

Bedtime plays a major part in our days.  Della rarely takes naps anymore and by the end of the day, she is so worn out.  When she gets tired she is not a nice or happy toddler. When it’s bed time, and we are all cuddled up, I ask her to tell me about her day. At first she wasn’t really feeling it because she didn’t know what to say. She would just say it was  OK.  I would ask questions about how she felt, what she did, what she ate, or what did she like best about her day.  As time went by, she began to open up and express herself more. It’s all about getting to know her as a person, what she likes, her personality, and how she views the world and our time together without pushing her to share her feelings.  Now, when we go to bed, she crawls in my arms and says mommy I want to tell you about my day.  It feels good to hear the excitement in her voice and know that she feels comfortable talking and opening up to me about things that matter to her.  I hope, as she gets old, she continues to feel she can openly talk to me about things going on in her life.

These months haven’t been all rainbows and glitter.  We’ve cried, gotten on each other’s nerves, and had more personality clashes than needed, but we’ve learned to so much in the process.  We’ve learned to enjoy our mommy and me moments more. We’ve learned to enjoy our free time with play instead of worry and frustration, how to communicate so we understand how the other person feels and what they need. We’ve also learned to cook so good recipes from Pinterest.  But, the most important thing we’ve learned it love and enjoy life.

Museum of Life and Science

Click to view slideshow.

Della and I decided we needed to get out the house, after a long week, so what better place to go, on a dreary day, than the museum.  I have not been to the Museum of Life and Science since I was is in grade school and that’s been a long darn time.  It was exciting to share this experience with her and discover new things together.

The Museum of Life and Science is in Durham, NC.  Looking from the outside, you would never expect the amazing adventures that lie ahead.  We started the day with some music in the musical instrument section outside. Della loved the drums and I must say, my baby got rhythm. We then moved over to the farmyard, to look at the baby animals, before heading off to the train.

The train makes two circles around the park. While riding you can spot dinosaurs in between the trees, animals statues, a giant tree house, and wonderful artwork.  Right before pulling into the the train station, the train enters a tunnel and every one is encouraged to scream as loud as they can. Della and I definitely got our scream on.

The Magical Wings Butterfly House was amazing.  Who knew so many types of butterflies existed.  The museum has a butterfly conservatory that feels like a tropical paradise. All I needed was a beach and I would have been in heaven.

Inside the museum, there is an art gallery and a place for kids to create their own art pieces.  Della’s favorite part was definitely the weather center.  She got to see how clouds and tornadoes form and how changes in the atmosphere affect our weather.

There’s so much to do in at the Museum of Life and Science but we couldn’t fit it all in one day.  After a good three hours, we  were exhausted.  I see us spending many days here this summer.  Since we love going to different museums and science centers, I signed up for a membership.  The membership has great benefits, such as – free entry into the center, early entry for special exhibits, discounts at the center store and cafe’, and discounts or free entry into affiliated science centers around the world.

So, if you’re bored and looking for something fun and educational, check out your local museum or science center. It’s a great way to play and learn at the same time.

 

Emotional Roller Coaster – Late night ramblings

It seems, at least for me, living a free flow life is much harder than I expected.  I have been on an emotional roller coaster lately.  Sometimes it seems as if my life is spinning out of control or, should I say, my brain is spinning out of control.  I find I think too much when I don’t need or want to.  At night, I find myself lying awake for hours when I should be sleeping.  I over analyze my life and question every decision I’ve made – wondering how did I get back to this point, again.  How did I end up jobless when I did everything “right”?  How is it my life keeps coming back to the same point – no matter which choice I make? What am I going to do?

Some days are carefree. Letting my body wake up naturally and enjoying the morning sunrise has made a huge difference in my mood.  Watching the rays come through my window then going downstairs to open the blinds so the light can flood the house.  Barefoot and half asleep, I open the sliding door and step out into the crispy spring air and let the sun wash over me.  Making myself breakfast before my toddler awakes and just enjoying the flow of the moment.  These are the times when my emotions are in alignment with who I am and the Universe.  These are the free flow moments that bring me so much joy and happiness.  The moments I try to hold onto. 

I am much better at stopping the emotional ride.  Where it used to go on for days, now it lasts for hours or minutes.  When I feel the anxiety taking over, I find something that makes me happy.  I take my daughter outside to play in the grass or to water her plants.  I paint or watch a good movie.  I try to embrace the ups and downs and the twists and turns. I tell myself to remember this is what I asked the Universe to give me and that everything will work out for the best – like it always does.

 

 

I Can’t Control It!!!

So, for the past couple of months, I have been focusing on not trying to control every outcome in my life.  Now, I am that person who needs to know the who, what, when, where, why, how, and any other details before I commit myself to something.  I need to know the outcome.  I need to know “my” outcome.  I think it’s from watching too many horror movies where the people just walking into a situation blindly and end up screwed or dead.

This year, I hope to bring new dreams into the physical.  I want new experiences, to meet new people, and step outside my comfort zone.  I can’t do that if I am trying to control what I see and do. Because,  I am not experiencing new things, I am experiencing things I have already preconceived the outcome to in my mind.  

How is that exciting?

How is that expanding my wings?

How is that stepping outside my comfort zone – when, in fact, I have already predetermined my comfort zone?

If I want to experience life on a new level, I have to be willing to let go and see what happens.  I have to be willing to give up the knowing how and give up the belief I know what I need and want in every situation.  I have to let the Universe work for me.  I have to let it bring in the people, places, things and events that will help me grow.  I have to trust that no matter what, good or bad, the experience is what I need at the time. 

It’s not easy giving up control of your life.  It’s not easy to just accept what every comes.  It’s not easy to just be and not worry about the being.  Through making small changes, everyday, I have felt and experienced more happiness, by not trying to control my outcomes, than planning everything down to the last detail.  Every day this is something new and it’s not always perfect and happy, but it’s what I need to grow. 

 

Happy New Day!!

While many people are celebrating the new year, I am celebrating a new day.   A new day to work on making all my dreams, wishes, and desires come true.

Why spend months or days waiting for a new year to come to start working on your dreams?

Every day, you wake up, is an opportunity to start new and  make changes that will impact your life, for the better.  So in reality, every day is your “new year”.

Take this opportunity to treat yourself kinder, love yourself more, and get to know who you really are.  Remember the things you love to do and do them.  Each day, do something that makes you happy.  This could be listening to your favorite song, watching your favorite show, talking a picture, a long walk, or treating yourself to a wonderful dessert.

Also, learn to say “NO” more.  No to spending time with people who drain your energy.  No to lending money to irresponsible people.  No to putting other’s needs before your own.  In return, you will be saying “YES” to you.  Yes to the things you like, the life you want, and the people you love.  Yes to building the relationships you value.  Yes to creating the life that makes you feel safe, secure, and comfortable.  Yes to YOU!

So, HAPPY NEW DAY!  I look forward to spending more new days with you.

 

 

Yes Della, Your Feelings do Matter

As a mother of a three year old, I know first hand  kids crying is not the most joyous sound to hear.  I know it can get on a person’s nerves and make them uncomfortable.  I know I just want it to stop as soon as possible.  I know I am making it about me and my comfort and not about comforting my daughter. I also know, I am wrong for doing this.

Today, as I listened to my daughter cry because she couldn’t have a piece of chocolate (she’d just had chocolate ice cream) and I told her to stop because I didn’t want to hear her cry, I realized I was not letting her acknowledge her feelings about her circumstances at the moment.  When she decided to go upstairs and cry by herself, I listened to my sister tell her to go back downstairs and cry because she didn’t want to hear it, I realized she was not letting my Della acknowledge her feelings.  When Della came back downstairs looking lost and defeated, I realized I had taken away her power to express her sadness and frustration. I and my sister were telling her, her feelings didn’t matter.

Della is three and three year olds cry.  Does she cry all day?  No. Does she throw temper tantrums? Rarely.  Does she gets sad and overwhelmed at times?  Yes.  But, she is a toddler and she is learning how to process her emotions.  She is learning how to express herself in a world of where it seems everyone can do what they want but her.  As a three year old, she cannot sit down and properly express to me how she’s feeling and control her emotions every day all day.  Usually, Della is pretty good as controlling her feelings.  If she’s upset and crying, she will go sit on the steps, cry, get herself together, and come talk to me afterwards, but, as she gets older, it’s getting harder for her to process and understand these new feelings.

As she looked up at me, with her big brown eyes, feeling defeated and emotionally drained, I realized I was letting my feelings and my emotions dictated how she should express herself.  It also made me look at myself and how I dealt with emotions and acknowledge the shadows of my past.  How I felt I needed to hide when I was feeling sad, when I cried, or was feeling frustrated because I knew my parents didn’t want to “hear that noise”.  I was reminded of how I felt my feelings and sadness didn’t matter and how I felt scared to show any emotion besides happiness for fear of making someone else uncomfortable.  It also reminded me of how alone I felt, as a child and teenage, because I didn’t have anyone to help me understand what I was feeling.  How alone I feel now.  How, as a society, the only emotion acceptable to show is happiness.

I refuse to let Della think the only time she can be around her family is when she is happy.  The only time we want her to show emotions is when she is entertaining us or other people.  The only time she is a good child is when she is happy.  I don’t want her to think she can’t be comfortable, expressing her sadness, in her own home.  I don’t want her to grow up with the belief that other’s feelings are more important than hers.  That she is not allowed to feel frustrated or sad. That she is only here to make other’s happy.

Does this mean I am going to let her throw temper tantrums all day?  No.  It means I am going to acknowledge her feels and her.  I am going to try to help her understand and process these feelings. Not because, I don’t want to hear her cry, but because I want her to understand she can cry and there is someone here to help and love her.  I want her to know and feel she has emotional support.  I want her to know my feelings are not more important than hers and she doesn’t have to hide her sadness. Della is not just my daughter, or a niece, or a granddaughter, she is her own person, who has feelings and insecurities just like everyone else.  As her mom, it’s my responsibility to help her become the best person she can be. Because, she’s too young to live in a world where no one cares.