Emotional Roller Coaster – Late night ramblings

It seems, at least for me, living a free flow life is much harder than I expected.  I have been on an emotional roller coaster lately.  Sometimes it seems as if my life is spinning out of control or, should I say, my brain is spinning out of control.  I find I think too much when I don’t need or want to.  At night, I find myself lying awake for hours when I should be sleeping.  I over analyze my life and question every decision I’ve made – wondering how did I get back to this point, again.  How did I end up jobless when I did everything “right”?  How is it my life keeps coming back to the same point – no matter which choice I make? What am I going to do?

Some days are carefree. Letting my body wake up naturally and enjoying the morning sunrise has made a huge difference in my mood.  Watching the rays come through my window then going downstairs to open the blinds so the light can flood the house.  Barefoot and half asleep, I open the sliding door and step out into the crispy spring air and let the sun wash over me.  Making myself breakfast before my toddler awakes and just enjoying the flow of the moment.  These are the times when my emotions are in alignment with who I am and the Universe.  These are the free flow moments that bring me so much joy and happiness.  The moments I try to hold onto. 

I am much better at stopping the emotional ride.  Where it used to go on for days, now it lasts for hours or minutes.  When I feel the anxiety taking over, I find something that makes me happy.  I take my daughter outside to play in the grass or to water her plants.  I paint or watch a good movie.  I try to embrace the ups and downs and the twists and turns. I tell myself to remember this is what I asked the Universe to give me and that everything will work out for the best – like it always does.

 

 

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