This year is all about change and doing shadow work. From being unemployed, becoming a stay-at-home mom, and pursuing my love of art, my world is totally different from anything I could have imagined. Even with all the new things happening, the biggest change I am embracing is facing my shadow side.
When most people think of shadows, they think of danger, the unknown lurking in the dark, or fear and this is all true of shadows. Then there’s the beautiful side of shadows. The side that makes you face your life, self, beliefs, and fears to really uncover who you really are. The side that makes you question everything you’ve been taught, makes your world crumble, and builds you back up. The side we really don’t want to face, but eventually, the Universe finds a way to slap us in the face with it.
So, yeah… for the past months, I have been facing my shadow side and realizing who I am and what I really want in this life. It has not always been easy. I’ve cried many times. I’ve broken down at times when I thought I was strong. I’ve stood up when I thought I was weak. I’m question every belief I hold to understand if these are really mine or have I taken on the identity of those around me. Have I let others influence me to the point that I’ve become a clone of them? Have I held on to fears because of how I was raised (ie.. religious upbringing, living in the south, or family guilt) and never really questioned how this applies to my life and who I am? Are my current beliefs about my self and worth based on past relationships or lack of relationship with people who I thought I loved or thought should have loved me? Am I scared to go after my dreams because of how many time I’ve perceived I’ve failed in the past? Am I afraid to fall in love with my Self and be happy because others may see it as selfish? Can I fully express who I am and live my truth without feeling I am letting down my family? All these questions and so many more have come up in the journey of self love and living fearlessly in my truth.
As I move through the shadows and face my fears, I realize I have let the words, beliefs, and wants of others influence me than my own. I realize, in not standing up for myself and speaking my truth, I have not lived MY life. Now, as I embark on this unknown road ahead, I am being more selfish, outspoken, loving to myself, and embracing my truth.
I encourage everyone to embrace their shadow side and really ask yourself, who are you living for, what are your true beliefs, and desires. Face those questions that have held you in fear and embrace your true Self.