And Still I Celebrate – Wishes Fulfilled

And Still I Celebrate – Wishes Fulfilled

And so we celebrate the ups and downs, and twists and turns. The wishes fulfilled and the ones on the way. We celebrate the bad times because they prepare us for the good.  And through it all, I hope you dance in the sunlight.

I look back on the this year and I celebrate my losses and gains. The beginning of April, I lost my job and thought it was the worst thing that could happen at the moment. I had been working temp for three years and was finally getting hired permanent. I was getting the raise and benefits, I needed, and would be able to work flexible hours. I had filled out all the paperwork and took the drug test and was confident everything would work out. Then, I got an email saying I failed the drug test. How could this be? I had never taken an illegal drug in my life and the only meds I was on was allergy medicine; I did disclose this on the form. So, instead of celebrating my new “security” of having a permanent job, benefits, and amazing pay, I was packing up my desk and turning in my badge. For weeks, I wondered what happened and how could it all go wrong.  How could something I worked and planned so hard for just fall apart? How could I fix it?

I took my daughter out of daycare and became a full-time stay-at-home mom. I began to enjoy not getting up early, being stuck in traffic for up to three hours a day, and being stuck sitting in a cubicle for eight hours. Instead, I spent hours outside playing in the grass with my daughter.  We blew bubbles, went on great adventures, in the backyard, and had picnics under the trees. We went to museums, parks, and took multiple trips.  She was able to experience her first international trip and visit family she had never met. 

Yes, I did worry about money and how I would survive being and stay-at-home mom. I was so used to working and providing for her, and the thought of not having a steady paycheck scared me. But, I decided to put myself and her first. To go against everything I was thought was security and live in the moment. I decided to take a leap into the unknown, and you know what, it all worked out. 

As the days went by, I started realizing my dreams, the ones I really desired, were coming true. I wanted to take my daughter out of daycare and spend more time with her. I want to watch her grow up and enjoy her childhood. I wanted to not be stuck in traffic, three hours a day, and now, I was home waking up when I wanted.  I wished to travel more, and we were blessed to go on four vacations and my daughter got her first stamp on her passport.

For so long, I was concentrating on the things I thought I would be missing by not having a job,  I couldn’t see all the beautiful things I gained – time, love, peace, family, and life. I couldn’t see my wishes being granted. No, it hasn’t been perfect.  I’ve had breakdowns, doubts, and wished for things to be different, because of fear.  But, through it all, I learned to dance and celebrate the things I have, the bad times, and the good. I’ve learned to not be so caught up on how we want our wishes to manifest, because it may not be the pretty picture we’ve envisioned. It may involve losing everything you thought mattered to realize you’ve gained what’s really important. You may cry, scream, ask why, and doubt everything you’ve done, but in the stillness and loneliness, you will realize, it’s all a part of gaining everything you wished for. And while you wait for your wishes to manifest, I hope you dance, because it is when we dance and celebrate, we celebrate all we have now, and welcome all that is to come.

Book Review – Prince: A Private View by Afshin Shahidi

Book Review – Prince:  A Private View by Afshin Shahidi



I love photography and capturing moments no one else sees. I love studying other’s works and seeing how they’re able to describe a moment, using a single frame.

When I first saw, photographer, Afshin Shahidi’s post on Instagram, about his upcoming book on Prince, I was so excited. Not only because he is an excellent photography, but because it was about PRINCE.  Prince is one person I wanted to photograph, just for my personal collection. His presence, alone, told more than words ever could. Whether on tv, magazines, or concerts, Prince had an energy about him no one could touch, and I longed to capture a moment in his life.



When I first opened the package, I didn’t know what to expect. I knew the photos would be great, but I was not expecting the reaction I had. As I flipped through the pages, my body went through a roller coaster of emotions. From laughing, at some of the silly pictures, to total awe, at the photos of him performing, and feeling my heart clutch with pain, as I saw the pain and loneliness in Prince’s eyes, in reflective moments, Shahidi’s images touched me to the very core.  Shahidi’s photos take us into the world of two people, who were not only business men, but dear friends.  Some of the pictures feel so personal, as if I am listening to a conversation I shouldn’t be hearing.  While others, such as the concert pictures, made me feel like I was there in the crowd, singing and dancing to hit after hit.  Then, there are the candid shots.  The one’s where he’s up close and personal, and you’re staring into Prince’s eyes, and you can feel him in the room with you.  His eyes put you in a trance, much like his guitar solos, and all you can do is surrender and embrace the journey, as you transport to a Universe where time didn’t exist.




Not only are the pictures captivating, but so are Shahidi’s words. You can feel the fondness and love he has for his friend, in his writings.  As he shares his memories, you can feel the admiration for Prince’s work ethic and dedication to his craft, fans, and band family. You can also feel the emptiness and void left from Prince’s passing.  As he takes us back in time, to tell of the escapades and personal conversations, I felt like I listening to an uncle telling stories of how he and his friend met and him reminiscing about the good old days.


To me, this book is more than beautifully taken pictures. It’s more than a glimpse into Prince’s life; it’s a memory book of a special friendship, which went beyond a camera lens.

*All photos belong to Afshin Shahidi

A New Season – New Beginnings

Welcome to a new season and new beginnings!

Hello again!  Hello Fall!  After taking a long needed hiatus, I am back and excited about writing again.  I am excited about the new beginnings coming my way and the new season that’s started.  Fall is my favorite time of year.  For me, it is the season of calm, peace, shedding of old, new beginnings, and magical transformations. For me, Fall is that breath of fresh air I’ve been waiting all year to take.  

new beginning in life, keys to open new doors

As I come back to writing, with excitement and a peaceful spirit, I hope to connect with more readers, writers, and artists of all kinds. I hope to engage in interesting conversations, learn from you all, and expand my imagination and  look forward to reading new stories, experiences, and messages.  I also look forward to sharing more of myself, with you all and hope my old readers are still around and welcome all new ones. Enjoy this beautiful time, feel free to say hello, tell me about yourself, and what new beginnings you are looking forward to in this new season.

Peace, blessings, and many thanks,



The Only Forever We have is Now

The only forever we have is now, so, let go of the things that do not better your now. The beautiful and not so beautiful thing about life is the ability to let go.  Letting go of old beliefs, patterns, thoughts, people, and, sometimes, dreams.   Some people can let go with ease.  They do not form an attachment to things or people that binds them.  They see the beauty in being in the moment and letting go when the moment is over.  They understand things and people are not meant to stay forever and there comes a time when it’s time to part ways.  Other people, not so much.  Some people cling to things, people, or memories in hope that things will never change.  They hate the idea of change, having to learn new ways, or starting over.

 I am here to say, I am/was one of those people.  I hate starting over, probably because I’ve been forced to start over so many times in the last 10 years.  I wasn’t always like this.  I use to embrace the idea of change with open arms.  I looked forward to new and exciting things.  I didn’t hold on to people but instead let them flow in and out my life easily.   I always looked forward to new possibilities.  As time went by, life happened and I fell into a depression and it was then that I began to hate change.  I hit a point in my life where I would finally get stability then it would be taken away, leaving me with nothing. It was a constant cycle, every two years.  During this time, I held on to people, beliefs, and patterns that were not serving my highest good.  They were not helping me develop as a person or contributing to my mental and emotional well-being.  I held on to these things because I wanted to feel I had some control on my life, even in the mist of all the chaos going on around.  I want to feel I had some stability even though life is completely unstable.  

In reality, there is no guarantee of stability in life.  Life does not promise smooth sailing with no storms or waves.  Life does not give us forever, only now, because now is the only forever we have.  This was a hard lesson for me to learn and it’s an even harder lesson for me to constantly and actively live.  Each day, I am learning to let go of thing that are not meant to be in my future, or my now. Whether it’s people, things, thoughts, or patterns.  I’m learning to part with the things I don’t won’t but hold on to for security.  I’m learning to detach from having the person and live in the feeling and moment.  I’m allowing people, things, and beliefs to flow easily through my life and only keeping what I need at the moment.  I learning to embrace change and the unknown while releasing fear and judgement.  The most important thing, I’m learning, is to allow life to give me what I need and take from me what I don’t and not try to control it.  I’m embracing the forever of now.


You Hold the Power to Change Your World

You hold the power to change your world – embrace it.  Whether you realize it or not – everything you do, every thought you think, and every decision you make creates your world.


 I know sometimes people think they are stuck in a situation and there’s no way out.  In reality, there is a way out.  To get out the situation we don’t want, we have to change the way we see our world. We also have to change the way we think and see ourselves.  We can’t see ourselves as powerless and fragile.  We can’t see ourselves and weak and unimaginative because these are they thoughts that keep us trapped in an unhappy world.  Once you change your way of thinking you start to see that you have power to change your world.  If you really want to change your world and live a life that is fulfilling to you, you have to believe that you deserve that life.  You have to believe that you are worthy of all the things you wish and dream about.  You have to change your way of thinking. 

Change starts with small things. Change one bad or negative thought for a more positive one.  Yes, it may take time, and it may be hard at first, but it will work.  Below are ways create the life you want and deserve.

  1. Talk bout the things your do want – Talk about all the things you want in life and let the don’ts fall to the side.  Focusing on the things you do want makes you appreciate the things that are going right more.  Talking about all your dreams and aspirations opens the door for more of the good stuff to come in.  Soon you will realize that you have a lot more good things coming in than bad thoughts going out.
  2. You want to have a more positive day – Wake up in the morning and focus on the positive.  Focus on the sunlight coming through your window, the birds singing, or that great shower you’re about to take. Be excited about the day ahead and all the fun things you can do, even if it’s laying on the couch watching TV.  If it’s something you like and enjoy, do it.  Make your day a day you can enjoy.
  3. Hate being stuck in traffic – Instead of complaining about being stuck in traffic, take that time to listen to your favorite song, listen to podcast you always wanted to get around to, take time to call that family member you’ve been thinking about, or take joy in missing that meeting you didn’t want to attend anyway.
  4. Need more fun in your life  – Think like a child.  Stop believing just because you’re an adult you can’t have fun.  Go to the playground and swing on the swings, go on a new adventure in your own town and discover new things, watch your favorite cartoons, or lay in the grass and watch the clouds. Remember what it was like to enjoy the small things.
  5. Tire of your monochrome life  – Replace the blah with color.  Change up the wall colors or, if you can’t paint, buy some fun colorful artwork for your wall.  Heck create your own art and let the creativity flow.  Buy new bedding or a colorful new shirt. Be daring, be colorful, be bright. 
  6. Say no to others and yes to you – Decide how you want to spend your time and don’t apologize for it. Learn the beauty in saying no. Don’t spend your time with people you don’t want to be around. Don’t go to places that don’t interest you.  Don’t feel you owe other’s your time. You owe you your time. Spend the time doing things and with people who make you happy and don’t let other’s make you feel like you owe them your time. 

These are just some ways of changing your now world to create the world you want.  You will surprised how making small changes can create a major shift in your life.  As you start a making these small changes, you invite more things of what you do want into your life.  You open the door to endless possibilities.  You open the door to a whole new world and a whole new you.  Remember, you have believe you are worthy and deserve the life you want. Once you do that, start thinking more positive, and making small changes that make you happy.  Then, one day, you will wake up and realized you’ve created the life you want.

Peace and blessings Friends!!

Facing My Shadow

This year is all about change and doing shadow work.  From being unemployed, becoming  a stay-at-home mom, and pursuing my love of art, my world is totally different from anything I could have imagined.  Even with all the new things happening, the biggest change I am embracing is facing my shadow side. 

When most people think of shadows, they think of danger, the unknown lurking in the dark, or fear and this is all true of shadows.  Then there’s the beautiful side of shadows.  The side that makes you face your life, self, beliefs, and fears to really uncover who you really are.  The side that makes you question everything you’ve been taught, makes your world crumble, and builds you back up.  The side we really don’t want to face,  but eventually, the Universe finds a way to slap us in the face with it. 

So, yeah… for the past months, I have been facing my shadow side and realizing who I am and what I really want in this life.  It has not always been easy.  I’ve cried many times.  I’ve broken down at times when I thought I was strong.  I’ve stood up when I thought I was weak.  I’m question every belief I hold to understand if these are really mine or have I taken on the identity of those around me.  Have I let others influence me to the point that I’ve become a clone of them?  Have I held on to fears because of how I was raised (ie.. religious upbringing, living in the south, or family guilt) and never really questioned how this applies to my life and who I am?   Are my current beliefs about my self and worth based on past relationships or lack of relationship with people who I thought I loved or thought should have loved me?  Am I scared to go after my dreams because of how many time I’ve perceived I’ve failed in the past?  Am I afraid to fall in love with my Self and be happy because others may see it as selfish?  Can I fully express who I am and live my truth without feeling I am letting down my family?  All these questions and so many more have come up in the journey of self love and living fearlessly in my truth.

As I move through the shadows and face my fears, I realize I have let the words, beliefs, and wants of others influence me than my own.  I realize, in not standing up for myself and speaking my truth, I have not lived MY life.  Now, as I embark on this unknown road ahead, I am being more selfish, outspoken, loving to myself, and embracing my truth.  

I encourage everyone to embrace their shadow side and really ask yourself, who are you living for, what are your true beliefs, and desires.  Face those questions that have held you in fear and embrace your true Self. 




Emotional Roller Coaster – Late night ramblings

It seems, at least for me, living a free flow life is much harder than I expected.  I have been on an emotional roller coaster lately.  Sometimes it seems as if my life is spinning out of control or, should I say, my brain is spinning out of control.  I find I think too much when I don’t need or want to.  At night, I find myself lying awake for hours when I should be sleeping.  I over analyze my life and question every decision I’ve made – wondering how did I get back to this point, again.  How did I end up jobless when I did everything “right”?  How is it my life keeps coming back to the same point – no matter which choice I make? What am I going to do?

Some days are carefree. Letting my body wake up naturally and enjoying the morning sunrise has made a huge difference in my mood.  Watching the rays come through my window then going downstairs to open the blinds so the light can flood the house.  Barefoot and half asleep, I open the sliding door and step out into the crispy spring air and let the sun wash over me.  Making myself breakfast before my toddler awakes and just enjoying the flow of the moment.  These are the times when my emotions are in alignment with who I am and the Universe.  These are the free flow moments that bring me so much joy and happiness.  The moments I try to hold onto. 

I am much better at stopping the emotional ride.  Where it used to go on for days, now it lasts for hours or minutes.  When I feel the anxiety taking over, I find something that makes me happy.  I take my daughter outside to play in the grass or to water her plants.  I paint or watch a good movie.  I try to embrace the ups and downs and the twists and turns. I tell myself to remember this is what I asked the Universe to give me and that everything will work out for the best – like it always does.



I Can’t Control It!!!

So, for the past couple of months, I have been focusing on not trying to control every outcome in my life.  Now, I am that person who needs to know the who, what, when, where, why, how, and any other details before I commit myself to something.  I need to know the outcome.  I need to know “my” outcome.  I think it’s from watching too many horror movies where the people just walking into a situation blindly and end up screwed or dead.

This year, I hope to bring new dreams into the physical.  I want new experiences, to meet new people, and step outside my comfort zone.  I can’t do that if I am trying to control what I see and do. Because,  I am not experiencing new things, I am experiencing things I have already preconceived the outcome to in my mind.  

How is that exciting?

How is that expanding my wings?

How is that stepping outside my comfort zone – when, in fact, I have already predetermined my comfort zone?

If I want to experience life on a new level, I have to be willing to let go and see what happens.  I have to be willing to give up the knowing how and give up the belief I know what I need and want in every situation.  I have to let the Universe work for me.  I have to let it bring in the people, places, things and events that will help me grow.  I have to trust that no matter what, good or bad, the experience is what I need at the time. 

It’s not easy giving up control of your life.  It’s not easy to just accept what every comes.  It’s not easy to just be and not worry about the being.  Through making small changes, everyday, I have felt and experienced more happiness, by not trying to control my outcomes, than planning everything down to the last detail.  Every day this is something new and it’s not always perfect and happy, but it’s what I need to grow. 


Happy New Day!!

While many people are celebrating the new year, I am celebrating a new day.   A new day to work on making all my dreams, wishes, and desires come true.

Why spend months or days waiting for a new year to come to start working on your dreams?

Every day, you wake up, is an opportunity to start new and  make changes that will impact your life, for the better.  So in reality, every day is your “new year”.

Take this opportunity to treat yourself kinder, love yourself more, and get to know who you really are.  Remember the things you love to do and do them.  Each day, do something that makes you happy.  This could be listening to your favorite song, watching your favorite show, talking a picture, a long walk, or treating yourself to a wonderful dessert.

Also, learn to say “NO” more.  No to spending time with people who drain your energy.  No to lending money to irresponsible people.  No to putting other’s needs before your own.  In return, you will be saying “YES” to you.  Yes to the things you like, the life you want, and the people you love.  Yes to building the relationships you value.  Yes to creating the life that makes you feel safe, secure, and comfortable.  Yes to YOU!

So, HAPPY NEW DAY!  I look forward to spending more new days with you.



New Beginnings

Every morning the sun rises in the east, setting the stage for a new day.  A new beginning.  Another chance to start over.


In the Native Spirit Oracle deck, by Denise Linn, she states ” the east is the place of the rising sun; associated with planting seeds in the springtime, birth, the waxing moon, and new beginnings.”

Life has a way of making us feel unbalanced.  Sometimes, the way to bring balance back into our lives is to start over.  We have the power to create new beginnings, every day.  No matter how bad it was yesterday, tomorrow is always a new day.  A new beginning to set a new tone, start  a new project, a new job, a new relationship (with ourselves or someone else).

When we create new beginnings, we release the old negative energies, people, thoughts, and circumstances that cause us to become unbalanced.  We let go of limitations, that keep us stuck in the past.  We let go of doubts, fears, and what ifs.  We say yes to the now, new energy, new people, places and opportunities. We say yes to ourselves.

So, every morning when the sun rises in the east, breaking through the dark, and shining upon us a new day, remember this is also a the start of a new beginning for you.  What will you do with it?

Oracle Card  from the Native Spirit Oracle deck by Denise Linn